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Shocked [12 Mar 2010|09:57pm]

I remembered the password to this old journal and after reading the entries I felt so disappointed in myself. The entries stirred up a lot of old feelings and memories. I had forgotten how much I loved my husband and how happy our time together made me. I had forgotten the girl busy with goals and self-improvement.

I am now especially regretful for the direction in which I took my life since the last entry. I'm divorced from that special man, for ultimately no good reason. I've gone back to a destructive relationship that has made me lose myself.

I hit rock bottom and I haven't bounced back. I need to figure out how to get back on the right track. I can no longer ignore the fact that my life needs to be the opposite of what it is now.

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Plans? [28 Jul 2007|07:41pm]
Well, my husband will be here a week from Monday. I still don't know what to do with him all week. I'm working very limited hours the week of my birthday (Friday the 10th). We'll probably end up holed up in my apartment with the air conditioner turned on.

My biggest desire right now is to arrange a month-long trip to Spain. I need to work out the financial details because I'm sure I won't have a job to come home to. Maybe in September I should start looking for a job that I can start in November? I don't know! I just know that I want to spend the month of October in Spain.
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where to start? [22 Jul 2007|09:32pm]
How do I start writing in a journal I haven't used in a long, long time? Well, I guess I'll just go with how I feel.

I feel like time is rushing by and I still have no clue what I want to do with it. I feel like I'm watching my life from the outside of a glass box, trying hard to break into it, without being able to.

I can't believe that this year is over half over. What to do with what's left of it is something I try to avoid thinking about. I'm avoiding lots of major decisions in my life. It's just easier that way.

[30 Jan 2007|12:14am]
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let's see... [08 Apr 2006|05:44am]
London was great! I really enjoyed my trip. We got to see a lot of great places.

I came home to see that I can't go to berlin next month because my schedule won't allow it. This is not good!
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bart [29 Mar 2006|01:47pm]
I'm sitting on the bart right now on my way to the airport. I left my car inside a parking garage so it should be nice and safe. I am soooo sleepy! I can't wait to sleep on the plane.

I keep feeling like I forgot to pack something, but I've checked and don't see anything missing. Oh well!

Anyway, have a great week. I'll be back on tuesday.
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dang [24 Mar 2006|10:31pm]
This time next week, I'll be in London! I am so happy about my trip.

It looks like my cousin from Mexico isn't coming to visit this upcoming month. That's a bit disappointing...
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omg [22 Mar 2006|06:25pm]
Derek is the cutest guy in the world (aside from gab, of course.) I finished my coke and he got up and refilled it for me before I even noticed it was empty. Then he started fiddling with a lid and turns out he was creating a opening so I could it without a straw. I hope he finds himself a nice little lady that'll really appreciate how wonderful he is. I love him!
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[21 Mar 2006|10:57pm]
I'll post some nasty pictures of me tomorrow so you can laugh. The surgery went okay. I absolutely love my surgeon. He called me a little over an hour ago to see how I was doing. I'm going in on Friday and then again before I leave to London next Wednesday.

Derek was amazing today. I don't know how I could have done it without him. I'm really lucky to have him as my surrogate brother.
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sidekick post [17 Mar 2006|11:31am]
I am wearing a cute green jacket but it is too small so I look huge. Oh well, at least I won't get pinched.

I was filling out my address book in my new phone and it gives you three groups: friends, family and work. I put Gabor under family and felt so weird!
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oh my god [13 Mar 2006|12:42am]
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stiff, sore, sick... [02 Mar 2006|12:13am]
Damn this cold! I went to bed at 7 because I just couldn't stay awake any longer, and now I'm up feeling worse. Now I can't swallow and I can barely move. I can't wait to fall asleep again :(
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natural family planning [23 Feb 2006|07:03pm]
I am getting my birth certificate translated so that I can begin the process of becoming a Spanish citizen. This gives me rights to work and live anywhere in the European Union. The only problem is that Spain doesn't recognize dual-citizenships, so I'd be at risk of losing my American citizenship. I'm going to talk to a lawyer about it next week.

I think I am getting sick. I went to bed with a sore throat last night and woke up with a fever. We'll see what happens.

Paul's barking problem was only getting worse, so I had to finally do what I'd been avoiding for too long: I got him a shock collar. He's only been shocked maybe 5 times, when he gets excited and forgets that he shouldn't bark. He is soooo much more pleasant to be around now. He's like a completely different dog. It's nice to be able to take him places without worrying that he will annoy everyone around us.

33 days until I go to London!
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finally [22 Feb 2006|10:24am]
[ mood | peaceful ]

things are starting to settle down again.

i leave to london on march 29th, meeting gabor there the day after he returns from japan. i'm excited to get to see more than london's airport.

ack just realize i need to leave in 6 minutes...

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Something Finally Goes Wrong [14 Feb 2006|02:52pm]
Today marks two days since I've been back in the US and less than that since I've been planning my wedding that takes place in a little over 24 hours.

Gabor's flight from Budapest to Paris was delayed so much that he missed his connection. He's not getting here until tomorrow, which means that we missed our appointment to get a marriage license in San Francisco. We may not even have a marriage license until the day after our wedding ceremony! So not only missing the non-refundable marriage license appointment, but also our non-refundable hotel room reservations.

Now I just have to figure out when to get my hair done, and fit that into my schedule for tomorrow.

Just when I thought "wow, for a quick wedding everything's going really well..."
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I'm back [02 Feb 2006|07:00pm]
Here's a conversation I had with a good friend yesterday:

me: I'm having the worst day of my life!
him: Why?!
me: because I woke up and I wasn't in Spain

Obviously I had a good time. In addition to Spain I visited Portugal, Austria, Hungary, and Slovakia. I suppose some might also count the UK but I was just in London during a layover.

I fell in love with my family, and with Europe. I hope I go back soon.
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aww [24 Oct 2005|05:48pm]
a friend i hadnt talked to in a while called me this evening and when i told him about my upcoming trip to europe he sounded genuinely excited for me. being at the airport yesterday made me it so real for me. i am really going to spain in 64 days!!
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awesome movie [28 Sep 2005|10:23am]
the girl on the bridge
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help [18 Sep 2005|04:40pm]
call 916 445 2841

wait for the second option to be announced and press 2
same thing, but press 1
again, 1

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happy birthday to me [05 Sep 2005|08:35pm]
[ mood | excited ]

look what i bought today:

live concert footage taken over two days
Image hosted by Photobucket.com

a documentary
Image hosted by Photobucket.com

and her book of poetry
Image hosted by Photobucket.com

i'm a very happy girl!

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